We are in Lake Tahoe, California near the beautiful snow peaked mountains. It is 31st of December and I am in my cute new years dress waiting for our house party to kick off. It is here and now that I contemplate the emotions of learning sport as an adult.
Lets go back 3 days to day one of snow boarding on the Heavenly mountains. Stunning day, blue skies and glistening pure white powder. I strap in one foot and I slide confidently towards the my first chair lift ride of the season. We ride up the incredible mountain in one swift lift and pick motion. We sit admiring the view as we wait for the adventure to begin.
The few moments before getting of the chair lift can be best described as fearful anticipation coupled with jittery excitement. These two emotions can describe almost all of my experience really but why stop, lets keep exploring some more emotions.
I fall off, ofcourse. I knew I was going to fall off so I did. Emotion number #1 Damn it Damn Damn it. I sit down and strap both feet in and I get up. Emotion #2 Big Sighh..Oh yeah - me, myself and Isis can do this.
The next phase of emotions roll in amongst ultimate loss of control, petrified gaining of speed and crash! First big fall of the season, oh it hurt so bad. Fall 2,3,4,5,6 and 7. Damn, 7 hurt. 7 was spectacular, it was a fabulous slide down the snow on top of the mountain with the wind blowing snow in my face and to finish to show I kick up a great amount of snow in my face. My face felt like it was snap frozen.
Back to the emotions. You know what you are going to go through when learning a new sport because you are an adult. You think this makes it easier, but it only make it harder as you beat yourself up for wanting to stamp your feet and cry loudly as you make you 20th glorious fall on the hard ice. You keen going despite the pain. You feel strong and determined. You then see all your friends waiting for you patiently trying to teach you. You want to scream and say 'leave me alone!' As an adult, why does it feel so desperately embarrassing and patronised when your other adult friends are only try to help you? You don't know, but you think about it for hours anyways.
Anyone back to the first person, I convince my friends to go enjoy themselves and go off happily to find other silly adults doing spectacular falls. Harmony is restored and I simply enjoy the pains of having no control as I find my peace in the quiet nature of speed.