On female companionship....

The stench of human urine permeated the otherwise odourless air on Steuart Street, San Francisco. I passed by homeless person 1 surrounded by an odd colection of blankets and pots. She looked like she was doing her nails. I walk a few more metres and spot homeless person 2, he is enveloped by various bedding material also. He is asleep, looks peaceful enough. An overwhelming urge possesses me to buy  him a coffee and sit down and have a long, meaningful, satisfying, deep conversation. I resisted the urge and continued walking to my destination..work.

My life to date has taken form from being scattered across multiples cities, countries and continents. The constant uncertainty and movement has given an undeniable obsession for the very same thing - change and discovery. I choose to explore, drop connections made through months of hardwork and move on as with no care in the world. This is not true as I am constantly reminded of the consequences after the fact. These come too late, they come at a time when I truly need what I left behind. 

At this very moment, it is a conversation. A friend - a female friend. In part, I trust my insane ability to transcend culuture, etiquette and close bonds to forge new relationships in the new country of my residence. After all, this ability has allowed me to do so well at work and in part regain my sanity after some terrible experiences in teenagehood. That could be summised as a rude lesson in cultural shock and ways to cope with this as a 13 year old. I could write a book on this particular topic alone, however I won't.. not right now anyway.

As I have grown older, the lense through which I see the world has gotten more unique. This has marred my so called ability to build really deep personal relationships easily. It has in effect moved me along an ever narrowing pathway from close friend to attainting more acquaintances. I seem to hoard more and more of these everyday that play various roles in my life but none that special ever loving, understanding, always ready to support true female companionship that I so ruthlessly left behind in New Zealand, Brisbane and Sydney. Now, perhaps I am ready to finally embrace the immense value these relationships played and continue to play, albeit through email, facebook, chat and twitter :) I thank you for being in my life...